Zombie Little House on the Prairie. Pretty scary.
My last post outlined reasons you might want a backpacker with you for the zombie apocalypse, and I thought, as long as we are planning ahead, here are a couple of other people you should probably bring along.
1. Mungo.
Mungo covers some important safety topics on his blog. First, before you flee from the city, he will make you some Oven Dried Beef Jerky Which Tastes Better Than Anything Ever In The Whole World, which is good because you will get sick of ramein pretty fast.Then, he will teach you how to catch and clean a fish. You can cook this fish over a fire or with your Coke can alcohol stove. That night, you can sleep in the lean-to he taught you how to make with a wool blanket.
2. Penny Scout.
Picture this: zombies are roaming the lands and the only human survivors live in fortified bunkers and make runs into town for supplies. But food is running out. What are you going to do? This is where Penny comes in. Formerly know as “Tracker of plants, breaker of hearts,” Emily Porter (aka Penny Scout) now teaches classes on plant id, wild edibles, making tinctures, and just about anything else outdoors. You can find classes through her site Wild Hearts Healing and also through TrackersNW.
3. Karen Wilde of wildelycreative.
Now, even though Wilde lives in a different part of the world, I will be very tempted to track her down for help during the zombie apocalypse. Wilde will teach you the importance of bushcraft for adults, so that you will be motivated to learn the skills necessary to survive. And I have it on good authority that she can start a fire with a bowdrill and will teach you how to also. If you ask really nicely, she might even teach you how to make your own clay pots (which you will need) or look at pictures of cute squirrels (’cause everybody needs a little cuteness in their life). In fact, most things you need to know about surviving in the woods, you could probably learn from her.
So that’s just a few names on my list. I’d also like to add my good friend Nate, with whom I have watched many zombie movies and formulated long term plans to protect us from the relentless forces of the undead.
Reader: Enough with the zombies already, it’s getting old.
Addy: Ok, ok. I’m almost done.
Reader: Did you even ask the people you’ve listed above if they want to be included in your zombie plan?
Addy: [silence] [shuffles feet] I’m sure they will come around now that I’ve warned them about this undeadly threat. Right?
